A bunch are living in Bliss too. Bliss, Idaho. Massachusetts. Michigan. Seems like as soon as somebody spots somebody else living in Harmony, they want to live in Bliss.
I wonder if the citizens of Happy, Texas are more content than those in Joy, Illinois. I wonder if these towns are entirely populated by Wal-Mart greeters.
As you can tell, I have been dipping into the U.S. Census data again, this time looking for fun city names. I searched the entire country, and I was surprised to find no Pleasure in it. No Elation either.
And while our country is without Wonder, it also lacks Hate. Imagine—there's no Heaven! It isn't hard to do, unless the Census folks are holding out on me. I found no Ecstasy and no Pain. I spent several hours and still…no Enjoyment.
There was no Revenge, no Regret, no Pity, no Shock, no Awe, no Drama, no Epiphany. But if you are looking for Hope, turn to any point of the compass, and it's there. You can also find Paradise without hardly looking, from Hawaii to Pennsylvania.
Several hundred people in Virginia are living in Hurt. And in case you were still wondering where Waldo is, it's Alabama. And Arkansas. And Florida, Ohio, Wisconsin, Maine and Kansas. If you are seeking Nirvana in the U.S.A., you are out of luck, but you can find a Climax in Minnesota, Georgia, Michigan, Kansas and North Dakota.
Are you looking for Fairplay? Get thee to Colorado. (It's just around the bend from Hygiene, which I wish I could say was next to Godliness, but there's no such town). If you ever wanted to see Abba, head to Georgia. Been there for years. Who knew? Maybe Fernando.
I would love to know how certain towns got their names, like Frostproof. And Surprise. And Hasty. Combine the stories behind all three, though, and you have got yourself a romance novel.
I wonder what it does to your self-esteem to live in Gassville. Or Locustville. Those are towns desperately in need of a Chamber of Commerce. But how cool is this—there are about 1300 people who, when asked, can legitimately say "I live in Flippin, Arkansas. You want to make something of it?"
The local legend in Pleasureville, Kentucky is that at one time the town harbored a bordello, which kind of makes me wonder about the origins of Mermaid, Delaware. And what is the name of the town in Alabama which has tornado activity 263% greater than the rest of the U.S.? Believe it or not, it's Allgood.
In Illinois, if you can't afford your apartment, just find a way to Sublette. If things are going really bad for you, remember—you can always walk away from Golf. Want to live in Peace? Head to Minnesota. In Prosperity? South Carolina. In Equality? Illinois. In Comfort? Texas. In Friendship? Maine. In Defiance? Iowa.
Still, there are many nouns without towns. I checked—you can't live in Denial. Or in Absentia. Or in Fear. There is no Respect. No Accord. Then again, there is no Discord. No Ennui. You can't live in Infamy, or in Retrospect, or in Cognito. But it fills me with a kind of giddy warmth to know that while you can find many towns named Sandwich (there are Sandwiches all over the place), there is only one Iota.
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