One of the hardest things about living in 21st Century America is knowing who to boycott. Boycotting is an important pastime in our country, right up there with tailgating and disdaining soccer.
The trouble is, sometimes to be moral you have to boycott your favorite stores, and that's not going to happen, so then you feel guilty, but you don't tell anybody, because all of your friends are dutifully boycotting them, or so they say.
Like race, friends do not chat about boycotts. If we did, I might let drop that I stopped buying Barilla pasta or eating at Chick-Fil-A because of their bigoted stance on gay rights. That could set me up for a beat-down by my more enlightened friends who know that those brands completely turned around their stances years ago, and then I look like some idiot who shops wrong, which is the worst.
I have been wearing New Balance shoes since my distance running days in the 1970s. Recently I heard that the brand is a favorite of white supremacists, based on a seemingly pro-Trump statement by one of the company's spokespeople.
Couldn't neo-Nazis have maybe given all this love to wearing Crocs instead? What says "white power" more than pushing a rubber shoe that's full of holes through a committee and into production?
Conservatives have a boycott list too, but it is a tough sell. Give up Oreos because Nabisco moved its factories to Mexico? Yeah right. What's next, giving up Pepsi? Actually, yes, because of its CEO's post-election comments.
Boycott Amazon, because its owner also owns the Washington Post, which did a story on the president's past? But then how am I going to get my Crocs by tomorrow as long as I order in the next 27 minutes?
Ben & Jerry's made the list too, for its support of the Black Lives Matter movement. If you look at the butterfat content of their goodies, you have to wonder if any lives really matter to those guys.
It gets funny when both right and left boycott the same company, as with Macy's; the left because Macy's sells Trump brand clothing, and the right because Macy's is going to discontinue selling Trump brand clothing.
To paraphrase Newton, for every boycott there is an equal and opposite boycott. And let's not even open up the whole eat-the-cookie-whole or twist-off-the-cookie-and-eat-the-creamy-filling-first debate.
Things could really get ugly.