Sunday, October 1, 2017

Waters to world: stop making scents

We do not appreciate what we have until it’s gone, as they say, and this is certainly true of deodorant. Major retail stores seem to have gotten together to stop selling the scent which I identify as me. 

So for months now I have been smelling like some other guy, someone probably not as attractive but maybe with more hair. My arm pits currently evoke a guy who definitely drives something I don’t. I’ll never know what. 

It is surprising the power which scent has over us to evoke memories, people, moments. I did not notice scent, really, until my first girlfriend in high school. If I smelled her brand of shampoo on someone tomorrow, there is no doubt I would have flashbacks like they have in movies—first kiss, walking from Lit holding hands, slow dancing in the dark, begging her to take me back over the phone. 

I could not tell you the shampoo’s brand name, but they should have called it LoveStinks. 

I grew up using Prell shampoo, because that is what my mom bought. The TV ads for it showed them dropping a single fat pearl in the top of the bottle and watching it slowly sink to the bottom. This expressed, I guess, that Prell was wonderfully viscous. Or that elegant people had really simple tastes in visual entertainment. 

It was sold in glass bottles back then, because the world did not hold enough menace already. It smelled like mom, and Cold War.

It is hard to convince people that a little scent goes a long way. Teen boys are notorious for overdoing it. Stores should sell that teen stuff in tiny canisters like pepper spray, behind locked glass cases like spray paint. If you ever drive a carload of teen dudes somewhere, your upholstery is done. You might as well just Thelma and Louise that sucker. You’ll never resell it. 

I work at a public desk, so I am exposed to a lot of people’s fragrances. Perfume, skin lotion, pot smoke. It is surprising how few people understand that cigarettes are basically incense for your face. I guess we don’t smell ourselves, really, unless something seems off. 

Speaking of which, I found my old deodorant online, so after this other guy’s brand runs out I guess I will reclaim myself, olfactorally speaking. Not that you’ll notice. I hope. 

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