"There is an arrow. There is a house. There is a bat that has short wings. There is a giant spider. There is a lawn mower."
This early piece clearly foreshadows the disdain I would one day feel toward yard work.
Apparently, second grade was one of my dark periods. This one accompanies my drawing of Ronny, the horse: "This is the farm. There are lots of rocks coming down. The rocks hit Ronny on the head. The rock bounces off Ronny. Is this a farm? Yes."
Well, Teacher always said farm life was hard.
Another from that period: "There is an Indian behind the tree. The Indian shot an arrow. The arrow shot down the cat. The cat fell."
Back in the 1960s, political correctness had not yet reached us. Today, of course, I would have been urged to write instead, "the feline companion animal fell."
Another: “I love the rain. The rain helps the flowers to balloom. The flowers balloond all the year. The flowers were pretty. The flowers were blue. I am George."
See, even back then, every time you thought I was going to zig, I zagged.
There is this beauty: "Sometimes I think about being an airplane and fly hy in the sky and zoom! and then up in the air I run out of gas and crash and that is the end of me."
And this: "This is a turkey. The turkey is eating green grass. The grass has a worm in it. The worm is poison."
This is what comes from a childhood watching "Bullwinkle."
This from, perhaps, fourth grade: "Fortunately, Bob was racing a car to win 1,000,000 dollars. Unfortunately, his car got a flat in front of the finish line. Fortunately, he had a spare tire. Unfortunately, he was shot by an FBI agent. Fortunately, he fell across the finish line."
To this day I wonder if Bob’s family at least got the "1,000,000 dollars."
And finally…"The Bear": "Once upon a time there was a bear. He lived in a tree. And he made a secret place. So he could look for his enemies. Whenever one of them came around, they would be sorry."
Probably today a teacher would refer me for therapy.