GW: Your Majesty, thank you for taking time out from being feted by admirers for breaking this monarchy-record thingy.
Queen: It's a relief, to be honest. You'd think people had never seen a lady reign her butt off before.
GW: Did you just say 'butt'?
Queen: Blame it on the champagne. I've spent the last week being feted till my feter is all feted out. Butt butt butt.
GW: (to the waiter) Bring some coffee, please.
Queen: I have reigned over Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, Canada...
GW: Sierra Leone.
Queen: Not any more, dear.
Queen: We lost Uganda in '63. A shame. The hats were marvelous.
GW: You've still got Tuvalu.
Queen: I AM still the queen of Tuvalu, and Papua New Guinea.
GW: You are the queen of Barbados.
Queen: Yes, and the Bahamas. I like to say they love me anywhere it's breezy. (Laughs.)
GW: (Laughs.) There is something I promised myself I would ask you if I ever met you. Does it feel funny to use money with your own picture on it?
Queen: Use money?
GW: Yes, use money. Oh. Right.
Queen: I have seen it used, of course.
GW: Of course. You have people for that.
Queen: So many people, yes. And cars. And buildings. I count them sometimes when I can't sleep.
GW: So. Sixty-three years on the throne. What are you proudest of?
Queen: I came up with the whole "keep calm and carry on" bit.
Queen: It was just something offhand I said to one of my corgi dogs when he was startled by a colorful ottoman. The next thing I knew, it was on buses.
GW: They are good words to live by.
Queen: Indeed. It's gotten out of hand, though. "Keep calm and smoke weed"? I mean, really. With my crown logo and everything.
GW: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Queen: Perhaps I should receive royalties. Get it? Royalties.
GW: Ha! Nice, but don't quit your day job...Oh. Right.