Sunday, May 6, 2018

Goodbye to my loyal, funny readers...or is it?

If you are visiting The Wa Blog for the first time because you read in the newspaper about my column being cancelled due to budget cuts, welcome. If I have made you smile or laugh in the past weeks or years, I'm happy. 

But to paraphrase Edward G. Robinson in "Little Caesar"..."Is this the end of Rico?" Or...Waters? 

It doesn't have to be. I like writing these columns. You like reading them. Do you want them to continue? It's kind of up to you. Become my partner! If enough of you join me, together we can make the world a lighter place to live in. 

Um, so click that "Become my partner!" link up there...and thanks! 

Or at least add your email to the “Subscribe” box over on the right, and free humor will begin to flow to your Inbox weekly. I am confident my dog and I will turn you into a partner eventually. :-)

. . .

If you have not come from the newspaper link, and your awareness of me is only from this blog, here is this week's column:

This will be my last column for the newspaper due to budget cuts. As a freelancer here for over a dozen years, I can't complain. I have outlasted many longtime staffers. I began in 2005, to fill the shoes of the great humorist Dave Barry, who went off to write novels. 

Over the years I have gotten a lot of mileage out of my dog, who I could always count on to get blasted by a skunk or something similarly dramatic. “Great. More column fodder,” I would mutter while sudsing his fur. Whenever the dishwasher broke or a child went off to college or the house fell apart a little more, I have been forced, by deadline, into seeing the funny side. What a gift.

I dug back through my 700+ columns to find some tidbits to share. Enjoy:

I think our founders would be pretty proud of the country we have built
on their sacrifices, especially our amazing advances in the scented candle arena.

Do you suppose anybody ever asked Jesus, "Whoa! Were you raised in a

The camera does not add 10 pounds, and, frankly, the camera does not
appreciate your insinuation. 

I wonder if the French say "Pardon my English" after they curse. 

Isn't a double-half-hitch just basically a hitch? 

Is being a monologist the same as being half a biologist?

Why is a whole ball of wax considered desirable to obtain?

Can there be only one whereabout? 

If you can't quite fathom something, does that make it "derstandable"?

Which is easier, taking candy from a baby or falling off a log?

The best actual newspaper headline I saw last year—"Sewer water a prize for area agencies." I do not want to know what the contest was.

Don't judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes and you can see if he reacts maturely to your stealing his shoes. Then judge away.

Folks, I have appreciated your emails. Turns out people who read humor are funny themselves. You have made me laugh too, and that is no small thing these days. As I said, a gift. If you wish to follow my further exploits, subscribe free at

To paraphrase the Gettysburg Address, the world will little note nor long remember what I say here, but it can never forget that column about my dog rolling around in his own poo.