Sunday, November 13, 2011

My new word definitions are pabulous

Like most Americans, I like to read the dictionary for fun. It is cheaper than online poker and more educational than fly fishing, unless you count life lessons. I have never been happy with the dictionary's definitions, however. So I have "improved" the definitions myself for these (actual) words:

absconce: to take off with someone's wall fixtures

bactericide: what happens when germs get melancholy

cella: folksy way of saying "cello"

damnification: the frustrating inability to find the focus setting you want on a microscope

debel: a teen girl who rebels at her coming-out party

dehort: de most important parta de body besides de brain

eclaircise: my kind of aerobics!

egestion: what a digital stomach does

emmew: what French cats say

estival: a carnival after people have gotten the f out

factitious: truthy

famulus: stylish; see also: "awesob"

felloe: another word for "guye"

fissicostate: a school whose football team you have never heard of

gabbro: a guy who talks too much

gauffer: a small tunnel-dwelling, limousine-driving mammal

geloscopy: an annual checkup of your pudding

hamshackle: a really run-down pig

herbose: the inability to shut up about one's garden

iamatology: the study of where you are at

idempotent: not exactly something you should shout from the rooftops

ignotism: hypnotism for stupid people

impest: the most imp

jetavator: the quickest  way to the penthouse

judogi: what sleeps at the foot of ju bed

juglandaceous: much less sexy than it sounds

kakorrhaphiophobia: fear of kakorrhaphios.

lavadero: a cowboy with a hand washing compulsion

logogriph: a giant mythical flying swoosh

macaronic: noodlish

magpiety: subscribing to religious publications just for show

manometer: for taking the measure of a man

nunnation: the degree to which a Catholic school education sinks in

narcohypnia: I don't know, but it sounds like fun

obambulate: to walk like the president

oecist: a person who is rabidly, unapologetically against o's

pabulous: pantastic

pettifogger: someone who has not yet gotten deeply into fogging

pistology: the study of being really mad

rood: too impolite to spell things properly

shivaree: what you get when you spend too much time in the cold

sinistrorse: what the Headless Horseman rides

tachyscope: a scope which wears white after Labor Day

tentation: that feeling you get while camping that a nap would be nicer than a hike

Well, look at that. I am only up to my t's but out of time. I guess I will have to leave u to z for another day.

. . .