Showing posts with label dictionary humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dictionary humor. Show all posts

Sunday, November 13, 2011

My new word definitions are pabulous

Like most Americans, I like to read the dictionary for fun. It is cheaper than online poker and more educational than fly fishing, unless you count life lessons. I have never been happy with the dictionary's definitions, however. So I have "improved" the definitions myself for these (actual) words:

absconce: to take off with someone's wall fixtures

bactericide: what happens when germs get melancholy

cella: folksy way of saying "cello"

damnification: the frustrating inability to find the focus setting you want on a microscope

debel: a teen girl who rebels at her coming-out party

dehort: de most important parta de body besides de brain

eclaircise: my kind of aerobics!

egestion: what a digital stomach does

emmew: what French cats say

estival: a carnival after people have gotten the f out

factitious: truthy

famulus: stylish; see also: "awesob"

felloe: another word for "guye"

fissicostate: a school whose football team you have never heard of

gabbro: a guy who talks too much

gauffer: a small tunnel-dwelling, limousine-driving mammal

geloscopy: an annual checkup of your pudding

hamshackle: a really run-down pig

herbose: the inability to shut up about one's garden

iamatology: the study of where you are at

idempotent: not exactly something you should shout from the rooftops

ignotism: hypnotism for stupid people

impest: the most imp

jetavator: the quickest  way to the penthouse

judogi: what sleeps at the foot of ju bed

juglandaceous: much less sexy than it sounds

kakorrhaphiophobia: fear of kakorrhaphios.

lavadero: a cowboy with a hand washing compulsion

logogriph: a giant mythical flying swoosh

macaronic: noodlish

magpiety: subscribing to religious publications just for show

manometer: for taking the measure of a man

nunnation: the degree to which a Catholic school education sinks in

narcohypnia: I don't know, but it sounds like fun

obambulate: to walk like the president

oecist: a person who is rabidly, unapologetically against o's

pabulous: pantastic

pettifogger: someone who has not yet gotten deeply into fogging

pistology: the study of being really mad

rood: too impolite to spell things properly

shivaree: what you get when you spend too much time in the cold

sinistrorse: what the Headless Horseman rides

tachyscope: a scope which wears white after Labor Day

tentation: that feeling you get while camping that a nap would be nicer than a hike

Well, look at that. I am only up to my t's but out of time. I guess I will have to leave u to z for another day.


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