Sunday, January 3, 2016

My top six or so movies, give or take, of 2015

A lot of critics give you their top 10 lists this time of year, and I have just spent a week in a Rose Parade float-decorating barn sniffing secondhand glue, so I figure I'm just as qualified. I did not see or listen to 10 of anything this year, but here are a few movies I can recommend.

This list is in no particular order, rendering it useless:

  • "Star Wars Episode VII: Hey, That Guy Looks Like Young Snape." I realize many of you have still not seen it, so I won't spoil anything here except to say it appears that Snape from "Harry Potter" has time-traveled into a galactic thrift store and bought himself a very cool helmet. The costume design in general is great, although I did wonder why Leia looked like she could have been a backup singer for Gordon Lightfoot circa 1975.

    We don't go to "Star Wars" for the costumes, though, do we? We go for the daring escapes, the banter, and the new freaky creatures. There is a giant piglike thing with a kind of platypus head-plate, and a huge metal beast which looks like a Kia Soul mated with a Winnebago. A true nerd could name you 30 more, easy. Like golf, "Star Wars" makes it effortless to fill your head with truly useless information.

  • "The Martian." This also took place in space, but was less plausible. 

  • "Ant-man." At this point you are wanting to ask, "Hey, George, are you a 14 year old boy?" Every man is basically a 14 year old boy who just got balder and better at cooking chicken. "Ant-man" was as funny as it was action-packed. Any superhero movie which boasts a Thomas the Tank Engine sight gag is one I will throw money at.

  • "Inside Out." Few films make my eyes leak, but Pixar has mastered the "end of childhood" genre. I never had an imaginary friend to lose, but cried like I did.

  • "Jurassic World." The best way to see dinosaurs and people together without driving to Kentucky.

  • "Trainwreck." The word "raunchy" is often used when describing this because a woman wrote it. If it starred Will Farrell, they would use another word: "hilarious."

I remember when I used to go see serious dramas. Perhaps I have less patience than I used to. Or perhaps I've just grown fond, when someone asks me how the movie was, of replying, "explodey."






1 comment:

  1. How about Spotlight, about uncovering the pedophile priest scandal? Where protection of same was revealed to be a sacrament of sorts...

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