Friday, January 1, 2010

Every screwup has a silver lining...and a three hour line

George Waters column for Sunday, April 20, 2014:

They say when God closes a door, he opens a window, but if you are like me, you have always lived where the windows are pretty much painted shut. You can break the window and climb through, but that sort of makes God look bad. I am pretty sure it goes on your permanent record.

St. Peter: "So did God ever close a door on you?"

Me: "Yes, of course."

St. Peter: "But he opened a window, right?"

Me: "Um, yes, with a little help from me."

St. Peter: "Oh, God needed your help with that."

Me: "A little bit."

St. Peter: "Look, was the window open or not?"

Me: "I thought I felt a definite draft, yes."

St. Peter: "You were able to use the window for egress?"

Me: "Yes, after I put a towel over the broken glass."

St. Peter: "Enter."

Recently, I snagged tickets to hear author John Green speak at an event. My daughter has read his most famous book five or six times. She was excited.

Saturday we got to the fest, and my wife asked, "So you have the tickets?"

Do you know that sinking feeling? You go and check the car, but you already know you got out the front door without tickets.

I vaguely heard the sound of a door closing.

"God," I sighed under my breath.

Bad enough, except that my daughter had invited her school friend, also a fan, to meet us to hear John Green. So I was crushing her dream too.

It was 12. The talk was at 12:30. At 12:20 they were going to start giving empty seats away to people in the very long Standby line.

While the ladies tried to pull up our email on a smart phone, I ran over to a library on campus to try accessing it there. But we changed our password a few months back and I could not get in. I ran back.

No luck with the smart phone either.

At this point, we discovered there was a line forming to get books signed by John Green after the talk, so we jumped in that. John Green has a fan base. Did I mention that? It took almost three hours to get those books signed, but in the end, my wife, my daughter and her friend all got to meet Mr. Green face to face, something they never would have done if I had not screwed up totally.

Do you feel a draft? Because I do.